You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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