Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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