and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
