Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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