idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
