I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
