your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
