Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
