Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
