everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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