And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
