tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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