this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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