very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
