Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
