Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
