I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
