whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
