what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize