8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
