Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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