His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize