Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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