Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
