Are we in a gay sports bar?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
