If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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