bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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