i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
