I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
