Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
