wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
