I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
