Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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