I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
