she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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