she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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