It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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