We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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