kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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