ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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