Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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