Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
