Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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