i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
