You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My vagina is officially offended.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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