I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
