girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize