'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
