All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
