Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
