I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
