oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
