I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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