She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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