respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
