just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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