If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
