I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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