I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
